Lest we Forget

The Eleventh month..Of the Eleventh day..of the Eleventh hour

All fighting stopped..Every gun smoked, finally resting

All the tears fell..Every man holding hope, finally flourishing 

November 11th of every year we take time to remember our fallen Soldiers.

And Doctors,Nurses,Families,Parents,Wives,Husbands,Children,Sisters,Brothers,Uncles,Aunts,Cousins,

Best friends,Friends,Friends Friends,Acquaintances

Of those soldiers who have lost time from them

That they have given to us

I read a funny little quote that had its way w/ my smile..

"Freedom Isn't Free"

Its funny but true though isn't it?

Freedom isn't Free..We pay for it in every sense of the word,

Lives,Time,Money,Effort,Love,Families,Relationships,Motherhood,Fatherhood,Sanity..

So take time on this day and tip your hat to those people a little braver then us 

Who gave everything they had to give..lets give them what we can..Even if it does the deed no justice

Lest we Forget,

Let him Move on..

I used to keep him so close..Never far..I couldn't stand it when he was far

I can't stand it when hes far..But now I let him..Slip away from me

I can cry every drop in the ocean..I still have to keep my distance

I can say every hurt in my heart..I still have to stay away

I will fight back every tear..Bottle up every emotion..Stow away every affliction

Wince at every hate filled word..Tremble at all his sarcastic laughter..Distress at his bitter toned voice

Heart break and Heart breaking it couldn't matter more..for in the end..?

I'll stand far away from him..

3 Men in my life

I've always had a problem connecting w/ other women O_o

I just always say something that offends them O_o

Always

So the majority of people in my life tend to be..well Men

I have 3 very important Men in my life..

1.My Boyfriend >> Who I will refer to as many different things >> Shashank >> My favorite :">

2.My Bestfriend >> Who this blog was originally started for >> Rahul or Lahuul 

Last and Maybe the most important.. 

3.My Daddy >> "The only man a girl can always depend on" ;)

Now the problem and most likely the reason why so many sane women choose to spend most of their time with the same gender is because simply there is less.. jealousy? competition? 

At least I can say Thank the good Lord 1 and 2 don't know 3 :S Or else I would have a whole different set of..challenges >> Which may or may not include threat of violence -_-

But for now 1 and 2 are well acquainted and this..causes..moi to have a lot of control over how I distribute public affection :S 

If I write a status for My Boyfriend 

Then My Bestfriend feels like a third wheel :S

And If I write a status for My Bestfriend

My Boyfriend is hurt >> although hes very mature about it and tries not to show it :S

You can take this situation as a metaphor for everything else I do be it Pictures,Shares,Likes,Editing,Messages etc

But when it really gets bad :S is when their both on at the same time :S

Thats when I'm tempted to say I need to catch some Z's >> sleep

Even if its 9pm...

This is quite the balancing act..but I couldn't feel whole w/o any of them..

I wish I could just get both of them to understand..I Love them both so so much..

But neither of them has more importance then the other in my life

If Anything that place belongs to number 3..The man who loves me the most <3

 

Rahul..Deklo zara..

The reason I learned Editing..The first boy I called my best friend after Alex..

Rahul What a simply splendid way to sum up in a name the person who can make me cry,laugh,be mad and roll my eyes all in the same conversation..

I'll miss you more then you'll ever know..I wrote this blog so you'd know my history and the full..extent of why even calling you my best friend is hard..

I still wake up in the middle of the night almost every night..when I was younger it wasn't as bad because the pills worked..then they disappeared and recently As they started coming back I realized The sleeping pills dn't wrk anymore..Yes I asked for stronger ones..but according to The doc I'm prone to becoming addicted..

Thank you Rahul..For being everything you are..no not just the "good things" everything thank you for being everything you are..it means a lot to me..that even when its hurts you to do so..your there to always support and I promise you..I'll always be there when you need me..all you need do is call my name..

My best friend

He was My best friend..and I was his I couldn't ask for more..but he certainly did

When I was 12 on Halloween day 2004

My entire world faded to black

In the morning I woke up to my nurse maids excited babble..she ran back forth clambering behind people dashing up and down stairs barking orders trying to prepare for my parents annual party..my parents by nature were talkative open people, made friends easily and liked to throw big events everyone waited and watched for

I wasn't feeling well that morning so I hid under the covers trying to find sleep again despite every ones disapproval and careless racket..after a while I gave in to the hand's cooing and crawled out of bed..I stepped into the bathroom and locked the door shutting out all the noise except for my nurse maids La vache! and feet stomping off..I thanked my self for the early wake up call as soon as I noticed my reflection in the mirror..at first I was confused I'd never gotten a pimple in my life O_o 

What I didn't notice was how very many of those "pimples" were on my face as I had that epiphany I also realized I was very scratchy I knew what it was..chicken pox my younger brother had it before me and I knew that meant a day of sleeping in,oven mittens,chicken soup and pampering..on any ordinary day I would have met my fate w/ arms open but that day was no ordinary day and I now kneeled bfr it both hands clasped 

I knew if my nurse maid found out about my cold my plans for the night were going to be canceled..
So I snuck quietly out of my bedroom everyone was so busy no one noticed me slip into my parents room..I searched through my mothers powder room untill I found what I was looking for >> concealer

It was a shade or two too light :P but it would have to do..I took it back to my room but I under estimated my nurse maids ability to sniff out trouble..She knew something was immediately wrong because of my appetite..I didn't want the french bread she made >> which she often makes a point of telling me is not french O_o

Long story short Marie took me by my hand and tucked me in rather savagely :S wiping off the concealer a little softer so as not to irritate the red dots on my then porcelain skin

My best friend Alex came and promised to half his share of Halloween chocolate w/ me..I said I was sorry and he should Take Red >> my Dog w/ him for protection he said that was fine pranced out of Askmy room and after 5 mins walked back in saying Meeri? in a pleading tone as I said whats wrong Lex? "I forgot my costume :S can I take yours? I said "okay" w/ a frown and he ran back done the stairs my big dog bounding after him

As I drifted in and out of sleep I woke up suddenly straight up in my bed I only remember thinking what could be so loud..its sounded like metal on metal and I just like everyone else I ran out to see what it was? O_o

I ran up and saw one Redish black car fliped into its side I saw alex's parents and I searched for him in the crowd..He adored car wrecks on tv I knew he'd love this..People started moving closer helping someone inside out and My dad ran to the Car..I hadn't even noticed him behind me..He knelt down and walked straight towards me eyes willing mine to stay on his but I was to much his daughter I stepped to the side trying to see what was wrong :S What made my father so pail and He picked me up hugging my face into his broad chest like I was 5 again I was Furious How dare he I struggled and the screamed and hit and bit but he wouldn't let go I started yelling Alex's name where was Red ~_~ He always took my side he was the red ranger my right hand man..or dog and I started pleading then arguing If Alex could be there why couldn't I? we were the same age X.x My dad put me down as we neared the ground and I saw from far Alex's moms Red head stretched out on the road and hand pounding the pavement..I wondered now what was wrong I said "Daddy..wheres Alex?" No reply..I said again this time so I was screaming at him "Daddy where Alex?" "wheres Alex?" When he tried to take my hand I pulled it back in disgust this wasn't funny my father always had a sick sense of humor but this was beyond..what did he do? he made Alex's mom cry it wasn't funny I said "Daddy I wanna be w/ Alex" "I wanna go where Alex is!" I saw the fury warp my fathers handsome features As I felt what was the first and last Slap sting my cheek I stood in shock as regret spilled over my fathers face and He pulled me into his arms and kneeling on the sidewalk by our house running his hands through his hair in grief..I realized why my dad slapped me then..and its why I curse dogs name now.. 

Dedicated to a teary boy..