I Feel just Beautiful

I don't know why

Jem's voice crooning the lyrics from Flying High echoes inside my mind

I can't na na na I can't na na na I can't na na na I can't na na na

but, I'm Flying so High

High off the ground

When you're around..

I feel like laughing with my head thrown back so I do, I laugh with my head thrown back and look up into my own reflection and smile thinking, oh man, had you not walked into my life I would not have had such a moment of laughter or even the present smile on my face for..

a) had I not met you and heard this jem song it would have been empty to me like an uncut diamond would look like a plain rock to a jewler had he not been practiced

b) had I not met you I would not have seen the word "you're" as such.. I would have seen it as "your" and would not have smiled at the sweet growth you've incured in me

c) had I not met you, when I looked into the mirror I would not have seen my smiling eyes that you found so beautiful I would have seen a nose, a mouth, a skin, a person to be despised

But My honest one.. I did and I laughed and I smiled

and I searched up the word.. beauty

I don't know why but I did

"Beauty is a characteristic of a person, animal, place, object, or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure"

I suppose this is why they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

what one sees as pleasent or pleasing differs from another

but I must tell you My dashing one.. Being Beautiful to you?

That is just everything and all

hehe *small blush*

now don't ask me why about that.. or I will have to say

I just don't know :P

Salty kisses

Sweet tears kiss my skin and run down to the left side

I curse diffrent curses again and again in my head

Fuck you Fuck youu Fuch you!

I Hate him I Hate that..grr I Hate him

you're not him.. he's not you.. what have you done with the man I fell in love with..?

these questions so bitter linger on the edge of my toungue held there by a hopless hope that maybe he'll be him again.. you'll be you again..

sometimes I go in with a hope and smile and see you try hard too while we talk I try too hard and during that time in another location called mind I try to convince myself even harder of some external cause for your being some what diffrent from my man

sometimes I go in just like he is inbetween, polite words frozen with boredom.. he sees this and tries to cheer me and just like that I hope again and find myself again talking again to no one but myself

either method leaves me at the same place.. with tears running onto my cheek and into my hand.. pressing my dry lips into  salty moisture and begging sleep to make me his for good