Topaz letter

You've all heard of a scarlet letter, and who it's usually written to

You've also heard of a red rose, and who it's given to

And maybe some know.. maybe all know who a yellow rose is gifted to

A friend, yellow represents sunshine, wholenesss, cheer, but also friendship

So like the Scarlet letter here is my modern Topaz letter.. Written to a boy.. Yeh hes my bestfriend and I love him very very much..

Rahul..?

Pata nhi if yur on..

Pata nhi if you'll care..

Pata nhi if I'm going to regret this..

Bt forgetting everything.. Forgetting everything I think you did to me.. Forgetting everything you think I did to you.. Forgetting everything we think we did to each other.. I miss you ..

At first.. I couldnt sleep and I didnt know why..? Was it stress? Bt I've felt stress before.. so then was is realization? Bt death isnt a new topic to me.. so then was it fear? Bt what is there to fear? So then is it because I told a lie? Bt my conscience felt fine.. So then what was it? What made my stomach feel like something was clawing its way out and my head search for answers..

It was and is because I miss you.. Its why I cry even when I'm typing this.. Just praying to god with all my might that you might ping back..jst one smiley

Even now I think.. What am I doing? This is stupid, what will everyone say? What will everyone think? Will I hate myself later..? Should I just have let you go..? Leave you out of the misery of getting to know me before I have leave again for some other reason? Or out of the misery of watching me Love another man..?

Yeh this ulluh thinks about all these things..

Her head says pagal hogayi kya?

But her heart.. Thats making her tummy tumble.. And making salty tears go down her cheeks and wet her lips and drip down her nose

That heart says simply .. You miss him

All these little things would be okay if you could only laugh and scream and giggle and fight and have a battle of whits or a battle of your chicken and sing in tuneless voices and wear old clothes and baggy things and chalk up a story even thoe I know you full well know :P bt just go along with it for the sake of laughs xD uhh all these wonderful things that just make the rest of life less dramatic

Daddy says.. Dnt stress take it easy.. Bt the only person who can do that for me is you.. Yeh not even shankie :P he helps me escape sometimes when he feels good but only you can make me grin at your or my stupidity xP I can stop being serious with only you

When life gets too serious we frown instead of smile and find calamities where there is only glass of spilt milk

When life gets to serious we frown instead of smile and find calamities where there is only glass of spilt milk

You know.. Shankie asked me why he couldnt be my bestfriend? & at that time I had no answer except that we were to close and because of the proximity even if we jokingly try to poke each other with a knife we could really hurt each other

But now I feel like theres more..

Its because no matter the situation.. Your always happy to see me

And even when we fight and you say things to hurt me and you act like you want me to leave.. I know in your heart circumstances joh bhi ho.. Your happy to see me

Another thing.. No matter how crazy your life gets.. Or how much you'd like to sleep in you wake early so we can laugh and talk and be what makes us .. You never act like its your farz and it never feels like your forcing yourself..

And last bt so important.. I always can hear your hearts words.. You say or do something but I know really what your thinking

Your an open book.. And I know your not like that with everyone and once bfr our fight you were closed to me too .. Bt after like learning to read once you learn there's no going back you cant look at letters without hearing the word in your head too

Pata nhi kya bak bak kargayi..

Bt dil ko torsa chen mila.. Because I can imagine tum message karte toh kya likte.. And finnally I think.. I can sleep